ENOUGH WITH 3D ALREADY!!!!

That's it I can't take it anymore I have to say this: I HATE THE 3D TREND!

There I've got that off my chest. Let's move on.

Look I know that we all go to the movies to be entertained and that a part of that entertainment involves being connected to the film. In certain cases I think 3D can even be beneficial. For example I strongly believe that Avatar in 3D really made the movie come alive. It immersed oneself in the world of Pandora.

But like all trends in popular culture, whether it be vampires or Brett Favre's endless comebacks, the media has taken 3D and run farther and faster with it than a Usain Bolt track session. Between 2009 and 2010 the number of 3D releases has jumped from 12 to 24. Next year it's set to jump to 30. Why?? Why do need to enhance all movie experiences with 3D? Is it because our attention span has widened so much that only an image that reaches for our head can garner any response? Probably.

However, the other obvious reason is money. On average 3D movies are about three bucks higher and you don't even get to keep the glasses! Even the 3D quality is not necessarily good. Look at this year's Clash of the Titans. In a rush to capitalize on 3D's success the producers chose to hastily convert the movie to 3D. It failed miserably. Despite setbacks though, Hollywood has managed through careful marketing to dupe the American public into thinking that 3D movies are better. And it's working. People are opening their wallets quicker and more often than Lindsey Lohan enters rehab.

3D has become so prevalent it's bordering on the ridiculous. Now we've got 3D televisions for outrageous prices. Martin Scorcese, one of the greatest and most respected directors of all time actually said that Precious, yes Precious should have been in 3D. What?! Are you kidding me. The intense urban drama about the struggle and abuse of a black woman should be in 3D? That makes less sense than the upcoming Syfy original film coming up called Gatoroid starring Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. (I can't make that up by the way. It's true.)

Cinema above all should be about the basics: plot, story, acting, editing, cinematography; not about gimmicks. 3D has it's place. That place involves science-fiction and fantasy films along with Pixar movies and possibly horror. (Even I don't always want it in those genres either but I can accept it.) Keep it away from dramas and comedies. I don't like seeing Rob Schneider in 2D why would I want to see the man who made two Deuce Bigelow films in an extra dimension?

And for goodness sake please please leave us the option of choosing film versions in the theater that aren't 3D! Kudos to directors like Christopher Nolan and Peter Jackson who don't want their upcoming features to be converted to 3D. Shockingly they want their films to stand up on their own merit.

Sadly I know I'm one of the few voices in the wilderness imploring Hollywood to stop the madness. While the execs at major studios will be laughing all the way to the bank maybe I'll do something novel and pick up a book. Thank goodness no one has found a way to put those in 3D yet.

Movie releases for August 31st

Here are the movie releases for August 31st:

Why Did I Get Married Too?, Marmaduke, Harry Brown, House Season 6, Sons of Anarchy Season 2, The Middle Season 1, Parenthood Season 1, The Vampire Diaries Season 1, Flashforward (The Series)

Noted New Titles Not previously on Blu-Ray: The Evil Dead

Review: The Fourth Kind

Plot: Dr. Abigail Tyler (Milla Jovovich) is a psychologist living in Nome, Alaska and struggling to deal with the recent death of her husband. Desperate to move forward and put some semblance of a life together Tyler decides to continue with her husband's hypnotherapy research involving strange "dreams" affecting several people in the Nome community. However, when Tyler's patients begin to exhibit delusional and violent behavior, and when recorded sessions demonstrate the use of ancient Sumerian dialects, Tyler's research, family, and life quickly spiral out of control.

Review: In many ways it's hard to know what to make of director Olatunde Osunsanmi's The Fourth Kind. On the one hand it comes across as a creepy, mostly entertaining "true" story of alien abduction in the vein of Paranormal Activity and The Blair Witch Project. On the other hand it is also a crock of feces. None of the interspersed "documented footage" is real, ALL of the characters are fictious, and the film portrays Nome, Alaska as a hotbed of alien activity. Consequently, it makes the whole film seem like an outright deception and a rip-off. I couldn't help feeling a little cheated.

Yet despite all that, The Fourth Kind manages to bring all the coherent cinema aspects of story, tension, and setting into sharp focus. The pervasive sense of creepiness begins with Jovovich introducing the film in a blue light filled forest and continues until the film's disturbing final images. However, while the creepiness persists, it never really reaches a point that transitions over to real scariness. Uneasiness is more present than actual fear. Credit that to Osunsanmi's directing style which manages to create a pure emotion lasting 98 minutes. In many ways The Fourth Kind is more about setting a mood or tone than anything else.

Setting is crucial in this movie. Alaska is shown as an expansive, sweeping land; cold and beautiful in its scope and nature. Cinematographer Lorenzo Senatore is responsible for bringing this imagery to life. His broad sweeping wide shots demonstrate the vastness and wonder of Alaska, while his tight shots of therapists' offices and police interrogation rooms reflect the isolation and desperation of Tyler's patients. They have all been subject to this sense of being cut off and removed (abducted if you will) from their daily lives by a series of experiences that have damaged them emotionally. Tyler is no different, having dealt with the recent death of her husband and her children's subsequent problems.

Enhancing the overall mood of The Fourth Kind is the strong acting present throughout the film. Milla Jovovich is excellent as the emotionally disturbed and grieving psychotherapist. While her interaction with the children is slightly weak, the scenes between her and Sherrif August (Will Patton), Dr. Abel Campos (Elias Koteas), and Awolowa Odusami (Hakeem Kae-Kazim) are riveting and engaging. I don't think The Fourth Kind would have worked as well without the casting of these specific actors. Also editor Paul Convington's ability to intersperse "real footage" within the film lends a "based on a true story" and authentic quality to the film. It's too bad the story is a bowl full of malarkey.

Where The Fourth Kind fell flat for me however is in the climax. It seemed convenient and somewhat forced. In retrospect the Hollywood quality to the ending reflects the untruthful nature of these "true" events. I wouldn't say that it ruined the movie for me, but it definitely reduced the film's quality. Fortunately the dynamic mood and strong acting of The Fourth Kind somewhat made up for its dishonest nature.

My rating: 7/10

Review: Date Night

Plot: Phil and Claire Foster (Steve Carell and Tina Fey) are a couple living quietly in a suburban New Jersey town with two kids. When the break-up of one of their married couples causes them to examine their own stagnant and routine marriage, Phil decides impulsively to take his wife to a trendy New York City restaurant and high jacks another couple's reservation. But when a case of mistaken identity turns dangerous, the couple will have to rely on their wits and their relationship to get them through the night alive.

Review: Date Night is another mildly entertaining, boring, predictable comedy from 20th century Fox that relies heavily on a formulaic and often used story and screwball antics. There is nothing original or interesting about Date Night and consequently there are few laughs either.

Director Shawn Levy once again brings his considerable tepid and lackluster directing skills to the big screen. Date Night shows no marked improvement from previous duds such as Cheaper by the Dozen and Night at the Museum. His inability to inspire acting that pushes Carell and Fey beyond their The Office and 30 Rock personas respectively, further demonstrates why he is the king of stock and uninspired Hollywood comedies. Fey and Carell's chemistry as the Fosters is average at best. After such annoying scenes as the the couple's encounter with ladies man Holbrooke Grant (Mark Whalberg) and a ridiculous pole dancing scene at a strip club, I wondered if it might not be better for all parties involved if the bad guys just caught up to the Fosters. I will admit that Fey and Carell's car chase with actor J.B. Smoove was pretty funny. Also James Franco and Milla Kunis' roles as husband and wife "Taste" and "Whippit" was somewhat amusing. In point of fact they probably had more chemistry going for them than Fey and Carell; and Franco and Kunis were only in the movie for about five minutes.

Carell, Fey, Kunis, Franco, Wahlberg, and five other writers can also take the "credit" for Date Night's script. I've never understood the concept of a group written script. As the old adage goes, "too many cooks spoil the pot." While I wouldn't say Date Night's script was spoiled it was certainly undercooked. Unrealistic coincidences and a very forced and convenient climax make Date Night's script one step about a high school Senior's extra credit assignment. Then again this movie did rake in a $150 million plus, so there is no accounting for taste.

If you're looking for another run of the mill, formulaic comedy, Date Night will certainly satisfy. Personally I'd think you'd be better off ordering a pizza and watching Sportscenter on your next date night.

My rating: 4/10

Review: Hot Tub Time Machine

Plot: When Adam (John Cusack) and Nick's (Craig Robinson) friend Lou (Rob Corddry) botches a suicide attempt, the three decide to take a weekend trip to their old stomping grounds, the Kodiak Valley Ski Resort, for some much needed R and R. Accompanied by Adam's nephew Jacob (Clark Duke) the four soon find themselves hurled back in time to 1986 by their hot tub. With only a day to play with, the group must decide whether to stay the course or change their futures for the better.

Review: Hot Tub Time Machine is a raunchy, often funny, sometimes annoying throwback to 80s comedies like Better Off Dead and Porky's. Despite a ludicrous plot and occasional hit or miss comedy, Hot Tub Time Machine manages to generate several hilarious moments and its fast pace leaves little room for downtime.

What makes Hot Tub Time Machine work as a comedy is the chemistry between its four main characters. Let's face it, if these four didn't have chemistry would this movie even be watchable? Probably not. Surprisingly Machine doesn't focus solely on Cusack's character Adam. Rather director Steve Pink makes the bold choice to balance each character's screen time. Each has his own particular set of demons to face, whether its Nick's failed music career and taking up inappropriate infidelity issues with his 9 year old future wife, Adam getting stabbed in the eye with a fork by his girlfriend, or Lou's memorable beat down.

Anyone who remembers the 80s will also appreciate director Steve Pink's numerous tips of the cap to classic films of the era. What's a time travel movie without Crispin Glover (also known as George McFly from Back to the Future) showing up? Phil (Glover) the bellboy and the fate of his arm proves to be one of the funnier running gags in Hot Tub Time Machine. And in another salute to raunchy 80s comedies, Machine contains the most disgusting gross-out scene since Jason Biggs banged an apple pie over ten years ago. I won't give it away but let's just say it involves Lou and Nick, a public men's room, and a bet gone horribly wrong. Part of the bet involves a cameo by actor William Zabka, who many of you may remember as Johnny from The Karate Kid and habitual 80s douchebag villain. Throw in leg warmers, cocaine, a Red Dawn obsessed anti-communist antagonist appropriately named Blaine (Sebastian Stan), and kick-ass 80s songs from artists like Rick Springfield, Motley Crue, and INXS, and you've got a recipe for hilarious 80s cheesiness.

Hot Tub Time Machine isn't always boiling over with laughs however. Rob Corddry while funny is WAY over the top. Writers Josh Heald, Jarrad Paul, and Sean Anders might have benefited by toning down Corddry's character a bit. Clark Duke is also fairly blase as Jacob. Too many times he was just there in the scenes and his "secret" relationship to Lou is very obvious early on. Also Chevy Chase is superfluous as the hot tub repair man. His scenes are useless and slowed down the film. His presence makes me wonder if someone owed him a favor.

Fortunately these are all minor quibbles that barely detract from the film's entertainment value. This isn't high brow comedy after all. (How could it be with a name like Hot Tub Time Machine?) But if you're a fan of 80s comedies like I am, Hot Tub Time Machine will definitely appeal to you. So fire up the Atari, grab your Rubic's Cube, sip some Tab and watch the laughs drop like David Hassellhoff's career.

My rating 8/10

Review: The Expendables

Plot: A group of mercenaries led by Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) are hired by the C.I.A. to overthrow a South American dictator. Self labeled "The Expendables" Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), and Toll Road (Randy Couture) soon find themselves battling a South American army, a corrupt ex-C.I.A. operative (Eric Roberts), and just for good measure "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

Review: About a quarter of the way through The Expendables Barney Ross turns to Lee Christmas and says, "What's wrong with this picture?" to which Christmas replies, "Everything."

My sentiments exactly.

If Die Hard is the Casblanca of action films, The Expendables is the Plan 9 From Outer Space. This movie is a colossal failure on all levels; a bloated over the top violence-fest that would be laughable if it wasn't so tragic. Thank God I did not have to pay to get into this movie or I would be asking for my money back with interest.

For a movie that had just about every action star ever born in it, you'd think that some level of success would be a forgone conclusion. You'd be wrong. An army of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks couldn't have saved this film. For me The Expendables most marked flaw was its script. It's sad to think that the man who wrote Rocky could have produced this piece of refuse. The plot and dialogue was something that a thirteen year old junior high student could have topped. (If you need solid proof just glance at the names of the characters in the plot section of this review.) Laden with f-bombs, cliches, and trite moments, the only way Stallone could have improved this script is if he set it on fire. Seriously, I mean how many jokes can we have about Jet Li's character being short, or objectifying women, or how fast and powerful one character is over another. The Expendables is a testosterone laced fantasy that spends almost two hours trying to figure out which character's dick is bigger than the other. And the main storyline is an attack on a South American dictator with drug connections??? That tired old story is the best you can come up with?

Speaking of tired and old, while The Expendables failed to display a coherent or interesting plot, it also made up for it by being completely devoid of any acting talent. But then again that's what happens when you cast former WWE wrestlers and MMA fighters in your film. (Steve Austin's character's name in this film is Dan Paine by the way. Ummm....yeah.) Seriously take your pick with this movie. It was a battle to see who could act worse in this film. However in my opinion Dolph Lundgren wins the prize. I should have known he was going to be awful when one of the initial scenes showed him talking about hanging a pirate. (Don't ask.) Add to that Toll Road (Couture) talking about his cauliflower ear or Hale Caesar (Crews) describing his weapons like they were people and you'll get the general idea. In fact the ONLY bright spot in this film is Mickey Rourke who plays Tool, a former Expendable and current arms dealer and tattoo artist. The scene where he describes how and why he left the team is actually pretty good. Believe me when I say Rourke did Stallone a favor by agreeing to be in this movie.

The action in The Expendables is over the top even by action movie standards. None of the heroes ever gets seriously hurt in the film, everyone is a demolitions expert, and the bad guys always get their comeuppance. Truth be told Jeffrey Kimball's cinematography is so herky jerky it feels like somebody was setting off bombs underneath his camera. And if you like songs by horrible bands like Godsmack and Shinedown you won't be disappointed as these gems only add to Brian Tyler's horrible score.

Sadly with a cost of $82 million dollars I wonder how many starving children this film could have fed. To say this film lacks intelligence is like saying Justin Bieber is a little annoying. About the only intelligent thing related to The Expendables was Jean-Claude Van Damme's decision not to be in the movie. He told Stallone his character, "had no substance." This from a guy who just did a direct-to-DVD version of Universal Soldier 3. Now that's saying something. My opinion of Jean-Claude Van Damme's character and integrity just went through the roof.

A month ago I had the good fortune to see Inception which I think is the best movie of 2010 thus far. Well the universe is all about balance and I received that in spades on Friday when I saw The Expendables. Not only is The Expendables the worst film of 2010, it quite possibly is the worst action film ever made.

My rating: 1/10