This week on DVD

Here are the releases for the week of June 28th:

Hot Tub Time Machine, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, The Crazies, The White Ribbon, and Creation

Smoke Up Johnny! New taxes for the tobacco the inclined

It's no secret that the tobacco industry is one of the life-bloods of the American Economy. The industry makes billions of dollars each year off the public's decision to kill themselves slowly with nicotine and carcinogens.
And of course we've all seen the anti-smoking campaigns, everything from real blackened lungs (gross) to those truth.org commercials (totally preachy and pretentious.) But in the end do we really need all that garbage? Come on! We all know smoking is bad for your health. Anyone who doesn't think so is either deluding themselves, unbelievably ignorant, or smoking something else as well (if you take my meaning.)
Just as "smoking is bad for you" is a fundamental truth, so is "New York State will find more ways to tax you." Tobacco and taxes in New York state go together like Chuck Norris and a roundhouse kick. Therefore it comes as no surprise that NYS has once again increased the taxes on cigarettes by $1.60 effective July 1st. This will raise the cost of an average pack of cigarettes to a whopping $9.20 and $11 or more in New York City.
What is slightly surprising is how forthright NYS lawmakers are about the reason for the tax hike. They aren't trying to hide behind the idea that this will reduce the amount of smokers. Rather they say it's about one thing: money. Wow! Refreshing candor from Albany! Who would have thought?
At least they recognize that taxes will in virtually no way affect whether or not smokers quit. In some cases it may, but if the people really want to smoke they will find other methods, such as Native American reservations, the Internet, border states, or (gasp!) the black market. It's kind of like the idea that levying higher taxes on the rich works. It's a fallacy. The rich will just find a way to hide their money, just like committed smokers will find a way to buy their cigarettes more cost effectively.
The bottom line is that NYS will try to bilk the taxpayers in any way they possibly can. The myopic troglodytes that run this state manage money about as well as Carlos Zambrano manages his emotions.
So am I in favor of this new tax on cigarettes? Hell yes! How else are we going to pay the money we still owe Elliot Spitzer's hookers?

Review: The Road

Plot: Based on the Pulitzer Prize winning novel by Cormac McCarthy, The Road tells the story of a father and son (Viggo Mortenson, Kodi Smit-McPhee )struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic United States.

Review:

It is a very rare instance when a film can capture the essence of the novel it's based upon, but The Road is one of those films. Top notch acting, stark landscapes, brilliant cinematography, a compelling story, and a haunting score all make The Road one of the best films of 2009. Incidentally, it was also one of the most overlooked. For the life of me I can't understand why this movie was completely bypassed at Oscar time.

The most compelling element of Cormac McCarthy's novels is their ability to strip away all ostentation, all excessive description, all puffery to create something true and real, something that resonates with the reader. Director John Hillcoat has been able to do the same thing with The Road film that Cormac McCarthy did with the novel. The two main characters don't even have names, they are simply The Boy and The Man.

Although The Road film does has some differences from the novel, such as flashbacks of The Man's wife (played brilliantly by Academy Award winner Charlize Theron) Hillcoat chose, wisely, to keep the main focus of the story on the relationship between The Boy and The Man. Yet this relationship wouldn't work at all if not for the fantastic chemistry between Mortensen and Smit-McPhee. Audiences are used to seeing Mortensen as heroic (The Lord of the Rings), protective (A History of Violence), and even malevolent (Eastern Promises). In The Road we see another side: vulnerable. In a world gone dark and dreary, The Man constantly emphasizes to The Boy the need to "carry the fire inside" and look out for the "good guys." Mortensen runs the gamut of emotions from fiercely protective, to joking, to despondent, to hopeful. The results are fantastic. The scene where The Man contemplates killing himself and The Boy to avoid being eaten by cannibals is just as poignant as when the two discover a hidden deposit of food. In fact the juxtaposition of these two scenes makes Mortensen's performance that much more powerful.

Not to be outdone is Mortensen's acting partner Smit-McPhee. It is staggering to me that a then twelve year old could hold his own with Viggo Mortensen, but he's successful. In a particularly memorable scene Smit-McPhee convinces his suspicious father to let an old man (Robert Duvall) join them for dinner. Amongst all the horror is a boy's mercy. The follow-up scenes between Mortensen and Duvall are nothing short of brilliant. It's amazing when an actor of Duvall's caliber can come in for a few minutes and completely nail a scene. Duvall's cameo only added to an already fantastic film. Additionally, there was also a scene in the film where Smit-McPhee was actually crying because of the horrible weather conditions but he went with it and played the scene out. How many actors at any age could do that? This is just a taste of what the young Australian actor has to offer. (He'll be seen later this year in the horror film Let Me In.)

The weather conditions also served to enhance the film as well. Dank rains, fires, constant ash, and the general grimy nature of the future, feature prominently in McCarthy's novel. Cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe's captures the stark landscapes and dreariness of the novel in a way that I didn't think was possible. Hillcoat chose not to use CGI in The Road either, lending another layer of realism to the film. Much like Gotham City in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, editor Jon Gregory made the world of The Road a character in and of itself.

Equally impressive is the haunting score of composers Nick Cave and Warren Ellis. A movie's score should reflect the overall tenor of the film and the music of The Road does just that. Often times sad, sometimes harrowing, and occasionally uplifting, Cave and Ellis's music complements The Road perfectly.

While some may come away from The Road depressed and forlorn, I urge you to look deeper. If you do you'll find what I did; a rich story full of hope and promise, an amazing relationship between a father and son, and a gripping visual work that will stay with you long after the credits roll.

My rating: 10/10

Out this week

Out this week on DVD: Green Zone, She's out of my League, The Last Station, Remember Me, Entourage Season 6, and Hung season 1.

Tebow or not Tebow? A Quarterback In Question

The time has come. I've finally cracked. I'm done with the Tim Tebow love fest and I just have to shout it to the world. Tim Tebow is maybe one of the most polarizing characters in sports of the last 20 years. It seems that everyone you talk to either loves this guy or is rooting for him to fail. I'm neither. I'm not rooting for him to fail in the NFL, I just don't think he's going to succeed. But we will come back to that. My frustrations begin and end with the media when it comes to Tebow. The media coverage of Tebow is ridiculous to the point of absurdity. Do we have to hear every other second that a five minute conversation with Tim Tebow will make you a better person? What is he Tony Robbins? If the media felates Tebow much more they might as well start shopping with Tebow for a time share in Florida. That's not to say that the hype (at least when it comes to his off the field exploits) is not true. By all accounts Tebow seems like someone out of a Norman Rockwell painting. He's clean-cut, handsome, athletically gifted, socially conscious, and devout in this faith. Most know the stories: missionary work in the Philippines, making various appearances in churches and prisons, visiting sick children in hosptials, and in general helping the community at large. What's most impressive to me is that Tebow seems to really live his faith. He doesn't pay lip service to it like so many athletes today do. It's one thing to talk about your faith but it's another thing to live it. Tebow is also not a Bible thumper as some might expect. He'll talk about his faith openly but he's not one of these in your face guys. And as for the Super Bowl ad? I can't believe there was so much controversy surrounding it and what a fuss people made. The ad that was funded by Focus on the Family never once mentioned abortion. So what if it was a pro-life stance? Nobody seems to want to stand up for what they believe in anymore because they are afraid they'll be branded politically incorrect. I say f that. Grow a pair. Have the courage of your convictions. Why is it not cool for Tim Tebow to do a pro-life ad but no one bats an eye when an ad for godaddy.com has Danica Patrick in a shower? (Don't get me wrong I loved that ad. Show as many hots chicks in showers as you want. I'm still not buying what you're selling but thanks for the eye candy.) Lest I be branded biased, and so people won't think I'm some uber-Christian anti-abortion nut job, which if you know me is as about as far from the truth as Earth is from Saturn, I'd also like to add that I was upset that a gay men's dating website commerical was not allowed to air on the Superbowl. It's further upsetting considering the network lied and denied the group because there was no more space left. But I am way off topic now. Back to Tebow. Now that we've established that Tebow is in a fact a good citizen let's look at his football skills. I just think there are too many strikes against him as he enters his NFL career. First of all his throwing motion. Yes I know that he's been working on it to get it NFL ready but it takes a lot to get rid of muscle memory. The second the drops that arm too low, some defensive lineman is gonna pounce on the ball like Michael Moore on a bearclaw. (I partly blame Urban Meyer and the coaches at Florida for this. They should have corrected his throwing motion years ago.) Tebow is also a system quarterback. At Florida he never had to do 3, 5, and 7 step drops. He was always in shotgun. Being under center needs to be something that is second nature to an NFL quarterback. Tebow shouldn't have to be fixing it at this level. There's also the question of his arm strength. Can he throw the deep ball? Can he be accurate? Also Tebow likes to scramble a lot. He's in for a rude awakening when he finds that the defensive linemen in the NFL can run just as fast if not faster than Tebow. However, I think the biggest thing that's going to hamper Tebow is the speed of the NFL game. Tebow is used to coming from a system where almost everyone was always open. He never had to go through a lot of checks or reads. Now he's got to make those progressions and make decisions in a split second. Having said all that I think if anyone can overcome all these difficulties it's Tim Tebow. The two qualities that Tebow has that the great ones possess are leadership and focus. Telling this guy he can't do something will just make him work that much harder. Tebow is anything if not dogged in his pursuit of a goal. The funny thing about all these debates about Tebow is that I think the person who could care less is Tebow. Obviously, he wants to succeed in the NFL but it's not the most important thing in his life. He knows where his priorities lie. Tim Tebow knows that what he does outside of football and after football is more important than whether he succeeds or fails in the NFL. Failing in the NFL is devastating for some. How many times have we heard stories of ex-NFL players committing suicide or getting involved in drugs because football was their whole life? (Travis Henry ring a bell?) Not so for Tebow. Whether or not he succeed or fails in the NFL is irrelevant. I honestly believe that someday he's going to make a great husband, father, and community leader. I read today that one of the essential things to living a rewarding and successful life is compassion. May we all be fortunate enough to possess the amount of compassion Tim Tebow does.

Out this week!

The following films are out on DVD this week:

The Book of Eli, Youth in Revolt, When In Rome, Family Guy Volume 8.

Review: Crazy Heart

Plot: Alcoholic country singer Otis "Bad" Blake (Jeff Bridges) has seen better days. The fifty-seven year old former country star has resigned himself to touring various bowling alleys and bars in his '78 Suburban. Broke, alone, and feeling betrayed by his former protege Tommy Sweet, (Colin Farrell) Blake's life is living up to his nickname. But when a chance encounter with reporter Jean Craddock (Maggie Gyllenhall) stirs the creative spirit "Bad" thought he lost, Blake discovers that, like the adage says, sometimes "the older the violin, the sweeter the music."

Review: The concept of a washed-up, alcoholic, and broke country singer seems almost cliche nowadays. I mean the whole idea sounds like...well...a country song. Yet somehow director Scott Cooper's film adaptation of the 1987 Thomas Cobb novel breathes new life into an oft tried theme. Bridges is remarkable as "Bad" Blake, a role for which he won the 2009 Academy Award for Best Actor. And in case anyone thinks that golden statue might be a lifetime achievement award, think again. Bridges delivers a dynamite performance. Left in the hands of a less capable actor, we might have ended up with a very pedestrian character. Instead we get to see many sides of "Bad"; alcoholic, musical genius, charmer, user, absent father, friend, and lover. Often times the most memorable characters are the ones who we root for in spite of their flaws. "Bad" is one of those characters. He's often crass and cowardly but he's also kind and loving. You laugh when you see "Bad" curse out his agent and feel for "Bad" when he tells Wayne (Robert Duvall) he wants to get sober. All of that is solely because of Jeff Bridges. This is his best role since The Big Lebowski. Not to be outdone is Bridges's co-star Maggie Gyllenhaal, who plays Blake's love interest Jean. Easily her best role to date (she also received an Oscar nomination for Crazy Heart) Gyllenhaal delivers a powerful performance. Although the character of a "single mother with trust issues" has also been done ad nauseum, Gyllenhaal succeeds in Crazy Heart. Her intense love of "Bad" and her son Buddy is just as passionate and powerful as her love of writing. In Crazy Heart Gyllenhaal proves why she's not just Jake Gyllenhaal's sister anymore. Although the chemistry sizzles between Gyllenhaal and Bridges, the same can not be said for Bridges and Farrell. I never quite believed the strained relationship between "Bad" and his protege Tommy Sweet. The Irish born actor seemed out of place in this film. Additionally, the relationship between Blake and Wayne was severely underdeveloped. It just seemed strange for an actor of Robert Duvall's caliber to have such a throw away, minor role. Aside from Bridges's and Gyllenhaal's performances, the two elements of Crazy Heart that really brought the film together were its cinematography and music. Barry Markowitz's visual depiction of the American southwest are as rich and vivid as Blake's music. The music of Stephen Bruton, T-Bone Burnett, and Ryan Bingham crystallizes this character study in a way few other soundtracks have before. The movie's signature song "The Weary Kind" is particularly memorable. (And trust me this is saying a lot coming from me who aside from "The Charlie Daniels Band" and Johnny Cash hates country music.) Aside from Bridges and Gyllenhaal, I have to commend director Scott Cooper for his amazing work. Crazy Heart could have easily turned into a "Bubba Shot the Jukebox." Instead it's a "The Devil Went Down To Georgia." That's how ya do it son.

My rating: 9/10

Rumor Roundup! Indiana Jones 5 and the next Batman

2008 saw the release of films from two of the biggest franchises ever: Indiana Jones and Batman. While both Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Dark Knight were enormous financial hits, reviews were mixed...at least when it came to Indiana Jones anyway. I'll freely admit the first time I saw Skull I was far from impressed. Since then however, I've come around on it and aside from a few things (i.e. Mutt Williams swinging through the jungle with monkeys) I'm ok with it. I was always ok with The Dark Knight. If Christopher Nolan's masterpiece had come out one year later I guarantee it would have been nominated for best picture, what with the addition of five extra film nominees at the Oscars. Anyhow, with one of the weakest movie summers in recent memory going on right now, it really got me thinking about summer 2012. Star Trek 2, The Avengers, Men In Black 3, Batman 3, and possibly Indy 5 are set to come out that summer. As such I thought I'd do a little rumor commentary on the potential upcoming sequels for the globetrotting archaeologist and the Caped Crusader. First let's focus on the man in the cape and cowl first. (In case you are wondering that is a fan created poster...still looks pretty awesome though doesn't it?!) The good news is that a third Batman movie has been greenlit and will be helmed once again by director Christopher Nolan. (He's currently putting the final touches on Inception, set to come out next month. Definitely looking forward to that one.) It's set to release in July of 2012 and Nolan has confirmed that The Joker WILL NOT be in the next film. Nolan had originally intended for The Joker character to return for the third film, but with the death of Heath Ledger Nolan's plans have changed. Personally I think it is a great move on Nolan's part not to recast The Joker. Ledger's performance was so amazing and any actor who took the role would just be compared to him constantly. As for the villain no one is a 100% certain, however the consensus all seems to be pointing toward The Riddler. I know some people hated the villain but I for one loved The Riddler. I thought Jim Carrey's performance was fantastic in Batman Forever and even Frank Gorshin on the 60s television show was pretty good. Having said that I can't wait to see what dark turn Nolan might have on The Riddler. I love that Batman became so dark and gritty over the last couple movies and really went back to the mythology of the character. So far the biggest rumor to date on the casting of The Riddler is Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Although many may remember him as the guy who played Tommy on the vastly underrated 90s sitcom 3rd Rock from the Sun, Levitt has really branched out in recent years with such films like Mysterious Skin, 500 Days of Summer, Stop-Loss and as mentioned previously, next month's Inception. Personally I think this would be a fantastic pick. As for the man with the fedora, leather jacket, and whip...well Indiana Jones's future I think is somewhat less certain. It's been confirmed by Harrison Ford and Shia Labeouf that the principals (i.e Spielberg, Ford, and Lucas) have all agreed on a new idea and that George Lucas is supposedly developing it now. As to what the new adventure would be? Hard to say. Most of us hope it won't be about aliens. As recently as last week a website out of New Zealand was reporting that Indy's next adventure would involve the Bermuda triangle. However, it was reported today from the studio that the rumor is completely false. I'm kind of happy about that because frankly I can't think of what Indy would go after in the Bermuda Triangle. My sincere hope is that Indy's next adventure will involve a rumor I've been hearing about for over a year. Apparently there is a rumor that Indy's next (and final) adventure will involve the cross of Jesus Christ which was carried into battle during the Crusades and also lost during the same period in history. Reports have Indy starting off the movie looking for the tomb of Genghis Khan and then getting kidnapped by the Chinese who want the cross as well. Rumored sites in the movie involve England, Jerusalem, Mongolia, and Germany. Personally I think this plot sounds amazing. Mongolia AND Jerusalem? We can bring back Salah and Short Round! Sweet! Unfortunately until we have something more concrete everything I've mentioned are just rumors. Here's hoping that these rumors become reality.

Review: The A Team

Plot: Based on the 80s hit television show, a team of elite Army Rangers consisting of Colonel John Hannibal Smith (Liam Neeson), Captain H.M. Murdock (Sharlto Copley), Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Bradley Cooper), and Sergeant B.A. Baracus (Quinton "Rampage" Jackson) are set up for a crime they didn't commit. Determined to get revenge and clear their names, the four soldiers escape and hatch a plan to settle the score.

Review: Over the last two decades there have been a slew of former television shows turned into movies, typically with disastrous results. Films like McHale's Navy, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Honeymooners, and Dudley Do-Right are classic examples of how poorly planned, poorly executed, and poorly directed television to film conversions can be. Therefore it is with a grateful sigh of relief that I can definitively state that director Joe Carnahan's The A-Team does not fall into that category. The A-Team was blast! A rip roaring, adrenaline laced, explosion filled fun fest that grabs you by the throat in the opening credits and doesn't let go until the closing moments. To say that The A-Team far exceeded my expectations is like saying that the oil debacle in the Gulf is just a little leak. When I was five years old television consisted of two things in my universe: The A-Team and The Dukes of Hazzard. Yet unlike the 2005 crapfest that was The Dukes of Hazzard, The A-Team delivers in every way when it comes to action. Car chases, helicopters, guns, explosions, daring escapes; it's all here. Moreover the film has a skillfully crafted plot. Joe Carnahan, Skip Woods, and Brian Bloom's script is tight and well executed, from the opening sequences in Mexico showing how the group met, to their daring escapes from prison, to the climactic final showdown between the A-Team and the nefarious forces who set them up. At its heart what makes this film succeed however is the excellent casting and chemistry between the four characters. Even at age 58 Liam Neeson's physical presence is in full gear. The Oscar nominated actor brings just the right amount of leadership, charisma, and ingenuity to Hannibal's character. Bradley Cooper shines as the arrogant, smooth talking Face and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson brings just the right intensity and malevolence to the character of B.A. Jackson doesn't open a can of whup-ass on his foes, he opens a keg. The guy who steals the show though is Murdock, played by District 9 actor Sharlto Copley. Copley captures the insanity of the half mad chopper pilot in a way that Dwight Schultz (the original Murdock) would be proud of. The chemistry between Jackson and Copley's characters is as sharp as it is hilarious. Unfortunately Jessica Biel isn't quite believable as Face's love interest Captain Charisa Sosa. She seemed a little miscast and over her head in the role, although to be fair I don't know if anyone could have done very well. Additionally, bad guys Lynch (Patrick Wilson) and Pike (Brian Bloom) aren't particularly strong and Carnahan's action sequences are a little choppy at times. However, it doesn't take away from the overall enjoyment of the film. Let's face it, with any action film there is going to be a certain amount of checking your brain at the door. I mean does anyone really believe that the A-Team could escape in a tank with parachutes and slow their descent by shooting rounds at the ground? No. But that's not the point. The point of an action movie is to have fun. And The A-Team delivers fun in spades. To quote Colonel Hannibal Smith, "I love it when a plan comes together."

My rating: 8/10

The Sweet Swing Sails Into the Sunset

Recently I was reminded of the cruel fact that I'm getting older. No it wasn't the gray that keeps multiplying in my hair, something my wife points out at every opportunity, rather it was the retirement of one of the great MLB players of my childhood, Ken Griffey Jr. Although I'm a Yankees fan through and through, I've always respected his game. To put it more appropriately, I was in awe of his talent. I remember back in the early 90s when he tied a record by hitting a HR in 8 straight games. Griffey Jr. had the sweetest swing I ever saw; so smooth it made a Starbucks frappuccino look like a mug full of glass. In an era dominated by steroid scandals, the proverbial HGH laced syringe never touched him. He is a player that in 22 seasons hit 630 HR, drove in over 1800 RBI, compiled almost 2800 hits, a lifetime on base percentage of 370, and a slugging percentage of 538. Griffey was selected as an All-Star 13 times, 11 straight at one point, and won the 1997 AL MVP. It's amazing to think how much better his stats could have been if he had not been hampered by injuries from 2001 to 2004. As equally as impressive was his defense. Not since Willie Mays has a player made defense look so effortless. Couple that with a cannon arm and it makes his ten Golden Gloves look like an afterthought. In a time when Golden Gloves seem worthless (they are) I can honestly say that Griffey earned every one of his. I would be remiss if I didn't mention his class off the field as well. Although occasionally referred to as Ken "Grumpy" Jr, he was typically receptive and cordial to reporters, appreciative of his fans, and involved in community work. In 2008 he released a series of charity wines for The Ken Griffey Jr. Family Foundation which supports The Boys and Girls Club of America and various children's hospitals. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice also named Griffey as an American Public Diplomacy Envoy in November of 2008. When so many players and coaches today possess an air of entitlement and arrogance about them (I'm talking to you A-Rod and Phil Jackson), Griffey Jr. stood apart from the crowd. It's a travesty that he never got to play in a World Series. The great ones know when it's time to walk away too. After "Nap Gate" and Griffey's horrible average this year, Griffey Jr. made the smart decision to walk away from the game. I'll carry away some great memories of Ken Griffey Jr. such as watching him hit back to back HR with his father or his 50th HR in 1997. I even (sigh) have to appreciate the pure joy on his face when he scored the winning run in game five of the 1995 Wildcard playoffs to beat my Yankees. I truly hope that Griffey stays attached to baseball in some form, whether it be as a coach, manager, or commentator. (He's gotta be better than Steve Philips or Doug Drabek.) Farewell Ken Griffey Jr. You'll be sorely missed.

Alright Buffalo Bills I Forgive You

Being a Buffalo Bills fan has not been easy over the last decade. Terrible draft picks (Mike Williams, Erik Flowers, and J.P. Losman to name a few), quarterback woes, games in Toronto, watching the hated New England Patriots whup Buffalo every year, and most significantly no playoff appearances, have caused me more anguish than a Bruce Smith blindside sack. The Bills have been like a bad relationship you can't part with. You keep going back hoping she will change but it always ends in the same fashion: disappointment. Despite all the pain, I was looking forward to this year's draft. I had my sights firmly set on Notre Dame's quarterback Jimmy Claussen at #9. And the Bills select....C.J. Spiller? WTF? We have Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson! We don't need a running back we need a quarterback! Even more upsetting was that Claussen was still available in the second round and Buffalo passed on him again! What is Buddy Nix thinking? After the hiring of Chan Gailey, the acquisition of no significant free agents in the offseason, and a horrible draft I said that's it, I'm done, I can't support this team anymore. Anyone who knows me knows that I completely fore swore the Bills and decided to support the other team I like, the Green Bay Packers. I was just tired of getting burned. But like any moment of pique it passed and I've had time to cool off. I also got some good encouragement from my best friend John. He reminded me that he is a New York Jets fan and aside from 1982 and a few good years in the 90s, the Jets have had some pretty slim years in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even the early 2000s. Yet he sticks by his team. (He's also a Baltimore Orioles and New York Knicks fan so....ouch. His only saving grace lately besides the recent success of the Jets is that he's a Georgetown Hoyas fan too.) He chastised me saying that I'd been spoiled by the Bills four Superbowl appearances in the 90s. I have to admit he's right. You stick with your team through thick and thin. Look at the Bengals fans of the 1990s. Those fans are die hard. Impressive considering that the "Bungles" were mostly dead during Clinton's presidency. And so with weariness and hope I pull out my Thurman Thomas jersey and other assorted Bills paraphernalia and officially return to the fold. With one caveat. There has been much talk in recent years of the Buffalo Bills moving to another city. If that happens i cannot in good conscience support the team anymore. However until that time I consider myself officially back. I mean Ralph Wilson has gotta die some time right? Right? Go Bills!

Review: Splice

Plot: Two geneticists Clive Nicoli and Elsa Kast (Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) researching the cures for various diseases create an animal/human hybrid. However as Dren (Delphine Chaneac) begins to develop, her increasingly violent tendencies result in dire consequences for everyone around her.

Review: Splice is the bastard child of Alien, The Fly, and Species and the resulting progeny is about as interesting as watching the reproductive habits of amoebas. Despite receiving excellent reviews at the Sundance Film Festival, Splice is nothing more than a mildly entertaining retelling of the Frankenstein story with a predictable plot and ending. The story of "scientists playing God" is more played out than the "Pants on the Ground" song from American Idol. Splice is further proof of the lack of original storytelling when it comes to the horror genre. More schlock than shock, one of the biggest problems about Splice is that IT'S NOT SCARY! Other than a few "shock you by making an abrupt sound" moments there is nothing remotely fear provoking about the film. The presence of tension or a sense of foreboding is severely lacking. Some elements are even downright hokey. Take for example the creature's name. Dren is "nerd" spelled backwards. Seriously? How did writers Vincenzo Natali (also director), Doug Taylor, and Antoinette Mary Bryant cut the Gordian Knot when they came up with this name? Why not call her Keeg or Krod? Look I don't mind revisiting old themes, but at least make it interesting and compelling for the audience. Take for example the excellent 2002 film Equilibrium starring Christian Bale and Rochester's own Taye Diggs. It includes elements of Brave New World, 1984, and The Matrix but tells the story in an interesting and thought provoking way. But I digress. One of my friend's friends who also saw the film thought it was the worst piece of trash ever put on screen. I wouldn't go that far. Splice is not without its merits. Sarah Polley and Adrien Brody's acting is very solid even though the characters of Clive and Elsa are very stock. Clive wants desperately to take his relationship with Elsa to the next level (i.e children) but Elsa resists because (surprise!) she has Mommie issues. Dren meanwhile comes across as a spoiled child throwing temper tantrums. There is no inherent maliciousness about her. This unorthodox nuclear family generates bizarre moments like Dren's obsession with TicTacs and a more than disturbing sexual attraction for Brody's character. The film's laboratory scenes possess a sterile antiseptic quality to them that contrasts well with the farm Dren is taken to. Kudos to cinematographer Tetsuo Nagata for that. The scene of Dren's birth early in the movie resonates well. After that it's all downhill. My suggestion? Skip Splice and watch David Cronenberg's classic 1986 film The Fly. It's much more compelling, interesting, and scarier than Splice.

My rating: 4/10

Sci-Fi Rebuttalhttp://http://io9.com/5551875/the-twenty-science-fiction-novels-that-will-change-your-life

http://http//io9.com/5551875/the-twenty-science-fiction-novels-that-will-change-your-life

A friend of mine the other day directed me to a list of the twenty science fiction novels that will change your life. (You can check it out by clicking on the link above.) I have read a couple on the list (Octavia Butler's "Kindred" is particularly good and Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein" is an obvious classic) but it got me to thinking: what are some of the most important science fiction novels I have ever read? While I didn't come up with twenty I did think of four. I think that not only are these four important to me personally, I also think they are four of the best novels ever written in the genre.

"Battlefield Earth" by L. Ron Hubbard (1982)

Before you start, yes this is the the novel that the misguided John Travolta made into one of the worst movies ever, and yes this is the L. Ron Hubbard who spawned a religion that gave Tom Cruise an excuse to jump on couches and bedazzle Katie Holmes into marrying him and raising Chris Klein's child. (Yes that's a gay joke about Tom Cruise. I know a gay joke about Tom Cruise is as common as water rolling downhill but you gotta take your shots when you can.) Anyway don't let those facts stop you from reading this novel. At 1000 pages it is quite mammoth but only because it has so many layers to it. Set in the year 3000 A.D. the Earth has been taken over by aliens and man is all but extinct. It follows the story of Jonnie Goodboy Tyler who leads mankind's final war to take back control of the Earth. The novel tackles many topics: philosophy, economics, the environment, and the dissemination and control of information to name just a few. So what if the author was crazy for Coco Puffs? Van Gogh cut his ear off and gave it to his girlfriend. Doesn't take away from the fact that this is a great novel.

"Dune" by Frank Herbert (1965)

This Hugo Award winning novel centers around the noble family Atreides and is set on the desert planet Arrakis in the far distant future. Found only on Arrakis is the life blood of the Empire, the spice melange. A geriatric drug, melange provides a longer life span, increased vitality, and heightened awareness. Most important it unlocks prescience in humans allowing safe interstellar travel. "Dune" is more multifaceted than a Cray computer and interweaves politics, religion, ecology, technology, and human emotion. A staple of science fiction, Herbert's masterpiece spawned numerous sequels, games, and movies. A monumental achievement in the genre.

"The Man In the High Castle" by Philip K. Dick (1962)

One of the most well regarded authors in science fiction, Dick's works have inspired eleven films (9 currently out and 2 in production) including "Total Recall" and "Blade Runner." However this short novel may be the crown jewel in Dick's work. This alternative history work was the first ever novel to explore the idea of a world where WWII was won by Germany and Japan. Ironically in this version of history Germany is a technological giant having drained the Mediterranean Sea to create farmland and colonizing the moon and Mars. It is an intriguing read and deeply philosophical. The classic Eastern work of literature the I Ching deeply influenced and guided "The Man In the High Castle." It explores the interpretation and confusion of true and false realities both at a personal and global level. The progenitor of novels like Harry Turtledove's "In the Presence of Mine Enemies" and Michael Chabon's "The Yiddish Policeman's Union" Dick's seminal alternative history novel still resonates today.

"Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert E. Heinlein (1961)

Considered by many literary critics and fans to be the best science fiction novel ever written, Heinlein's 1961 work is his crowning achievement. Sex, violence (often taboo subjects at the time it was written) and other controversial scenes dominate "Stranger in a Strange Land." Yet ironically, Heinlein's novel may be the most religious science fiction novel ever written. "Stranger in a Strange Land" centers around the life of one Valentine Michael Smith, a human being raised by Martians. Returning to Earth as a young adult "Stranger" follows Smith's interaction and transformation with Earth culture. Concepts such as war, clothing, and jealousy are (pun intended) alien to him. Ahead of its time, Smith was raised in a Martian culture where the concept of God is understood to be every living thing, whether it be plant, animal, or human. Just think of AVATAR before AVATAR and you'll get the general idea. While relying heavily on its Judeo-Christian influence, Heinlein's novel never comes across as preachy. Rather the heart of the story lies in the fascinating character study of Smith who is at once naive, and wise beyond his years. Heinlein's character embodies the idea that human beings can ultimately reshape their world for the better. The novel's conclusion is as satisfying as it is heart breaking.

Well there you have it. I highly recommend all four of these wonderful novels. In addition you might want to check out Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" and Heinlein's other famous work "Starship Troopers." Trust me you won't regret it.

Review: Robin Hood

Plot: This often told tale of the famous outlaw gets another Hollywood incarnation. This time however the focus is heavy on history instead of legend.

Review: The tale of Robin Hood is maybe one of the most often, if not the most often, stories brought to life on the big screen. Sixteen times it has graced the cinema, everything from the 1908 silent film "Robin Hood and his Merry Men" to Mel Brooks' 1993 spoof "Robin Hood: Men in Tights." The green clad outlaw has had more press than Heidi Montag's boobs. Yet in Academy Award nominated director Ridley Scott's 2010 version, the film focuses more on the events leading up to Sherwood Forest. Robin Longstride (Russell Crowe) returns to England under the guise of the deceased Robert Loxley bearing the crown of recently killed King Richard "The Lionheart." Surrendering the crown to the new King John (Oscar Isaac) Robin then returns to Nottingham agreeing to pretend to be Sir Walter Loxley's dead son in order to boost morale in the surrounding lands. Only Robin has to deal with more than he expected, including a traitorous villain named Sir Godfrey ("Sherlock Holmes" Mark Strong), bandits, overtaxed citizens, and a burgeoning love for the widow Lady Marion (Cate Blanchett). As a film goer I liked this turn from the norm. As I said the story has been told so many times it was nice to get a fresh take on the legend. The film touches more on England's war with France and the idea of liberty by law, going so far as to include the Magna Carta, the significant 1215 English document. Joining Russell Crowe in the titular role are familiar characters: Little John (Kevin Durand from "Wolverine" and television's "LOST"), Will Scarlett (Scott Grimes from "Critters" "ER" and "Band of Brothers") and Friar Tuck (Mark Addy from "The Full Monty" and "The Time Machine"). Crowe, who proves to be one of the greatest method actors since Marlon Brando, brings a gravitas and a gritty realism to the role as none of his predecessors before him have done. (Crowe actually spent 10 months reading books on Robin Hood in preparation for the role and 4 months training with a bow and arrow.) Unfortunately the supporting cast while enjoyable is severely under used, often relegated to the role of comic relief. Academy Award winning actress Cate Blanchett is solid as the strong willed and determined Lady Marion but her turn as a "warrior" is severely misguided and unconvincing. Oscar Isaac really stole the show as the sniveling and arrogant King John. Every time he was in a scene I felt like I needed a shower. Isaac played Robin Hood's primary antagonist perfectly; villainous but not in a "man in the black cloak" kind of way. "Robin Hood's" action sequences were strong and taunt with energy. Ridley Scott's pacing is decent although at 140 minutes Brian Helgeland's script could have used a little trimming. Also in some ways "Robin Hood" felt like a heavy handed way of setting up a sequel and although I liked its focus on fact, I found myself sometimes yearning for the legend. All in all however, "Robin Hood" kept my attention with its action, acting, and unique take on the often told legend.

My rating: 7/10

R.I.P. Dennis Hopper

The fact that Dennis Hopper was born in Dodge City, Kansas, the town lawman Wyatt Earp made famous, is further proof that as Einstein said, "God does not play dice with the universe." Dennis Hopper was anything if not a maverick in a Hollywood career that spanned over 50 years beginning with "Rebel Without A Cause" in 1955 and ending with the upcoming "Alpha and Omega." In an industry filled with the eccentric and the outlandish, even Hopper stood apart from the crowd, often as charismatic as he was enigmatic. "Easy Rider" catapulted Hopper into the limelight. Both writing, directing, and acting in the film, Hopper picked up an Academy Award nomination for best screenplay. His turns as Howard Payne in "Speed" and as the notorious nitrous oxide sniffing Frank Booth in "Blue Velvet" are also among his most memorable roles. That's not to say that all of Hopper's endeavors were noteworthy. For every "Cool Hand Luke" there was a "Super Mario Brothers." (Although don't let anyone tell you that "My Science Project" was a bad film. It's still a classic 80s sci-fi film in my opinion.) And as great as his onscreen performances were, his personal life was often in shambles. Married 5 times with 4 children, Hopper was one of Hollywood's most notorious drug addicts. He even hit on Paul Newman's wife once When you embrace the mode of an outlaw I guess you embrace all its facets however. From an acting standpoint three performances stand out in my mind. The first was not even a film role but a television role. In 1963 Dennis Hopper starred as Peter Vollmer, a young neo-Nazi inspired by the ghost of Adolph Hitler, in The Twilight Zone episode "He's Alive." In a show that often touched on relevant social topics, Hopper's character embodied bigotry and how citizens must guard against its malicious intents. Secondly, was a 1993 film written by Quentin Tarantino called "True Romance." (If you haven't checked this film out yet you are doing yourself a disservice. It is amazing.) The ten minute scene between Hopper's character Clifford Worley and Christopher Walken's character Vincenzo Coccotti is one of the best ever put on film. (I won't tell you the topic of discussion or the results if you haven't seen it but trust me it is epic.) But most of all I will remember Dennis Hopper as the alcoholic basketball loving father Shooter in the 1986 film "Hoosiers." "Hoosiers" is one of the best sports films of all-time and in no small part because of the Oscar nominated performance by Hopper. The writer Kenneth Elton Kesey once wrote "He who marches out of step hears a different drum." Dennis Hopper always heard a different drum and cinema history is the better for it. R.I.P. Dennis Hopper. Ride easy.

Out this Week

Releasing this week on DVD are the following: Alice in Wonderland, The Wolfman, Rescue Me Season 5, and The Man With No Name Trilogy on Blu-Ray.

Fustercluck in Middle Earth

The proposed two part "The Hobbit" film is having an uphill climb equal to that of Frodo and Sam scaling Mount Doom. It has not been a simple stroll through The Shire. I had thought that after the Christopher "I'm a bitter greedy old man" Tolkien lawsuit was thrown out in November of last year that the final hurdle had been leapt and the pathway cleared for a trek back to Middle Earth. I couldn't have been more wrong. Shortly after the lawsuit ended MGM (who shares the rights along with New Line) announced that it was "beginning a process to explore various strategic alternatives including operating as a standalone entity, forming strategic partnerships and evaluating a potential sale of the company." That's code for: "I'm broke bitch!" Since then MGM's woes have been nothing short of disastrous and "The Hobbit" has paid the price. The beginning of principal photography has been pushed back numerous times with the latest start time slated for November of this year. In the latest turn of events the film's director Guillermo Del Toro has said adios to the project. The acclaimed director of "Pan's Labyrinth" and "Hellboy" is still going to advise in a writer capacity and contribute on the special effects side, however. But you know what? I can't blame him. This movie has been in pre-production for almost two years. The freakin' guy moved to New Zealand with his wife and two daughters! I'd bolt too. The guy has other things he wants to do in his movie career and a director with that kind of talent does not deserve to be dicked around while MGM sits in the corner with their collective thumbs up their collective arses. Now the question becomes who is going to direct "The Hobbit" movies? The short list has Peter Jackson, Neil Blomkamp ("District 9"), Sam Raimi ("Spiderman"), and Alfonso Cuaron ("Children of Men"). My vote is for Peter Jackson but with all the problems surrounding this film I'm not sure any director is gonna touch this puppy with the Torch of Gondor until MGM gets its shit together. As of right now MGM's creditors have extended forbearance on their interest payments until July 14th. After MGM's creditors rejected the 1.5 billion dollar buyout offer from Time Warner, the current companies in line to buy MGM include both Summit Entertainment and Spyglass Entertainment. Listen I love the LOTR pictures and "The Hobbit" is still one of my all-time favorite books, so honestly I believe that the project is going to get done. Too much money has already been invested and you are guaranteed to get a return on your investment. In fact if these two films don't make $600 million combined domestically I'll eat Gandalf's staff. Bottom line however is that there are a lot of fans out there, myself included, who are tired of getting jerked around like this. So before MGM gets stampeded by a bunch of 40 year old virgins wearing "Frodo Lives" t-shirts, sporting plastic elf ears, carrying replica Anduril swords, and swearing at executives in Sindarin, I suggest they officially green light the project, get a new director, make some casting announcements, and sell the freakin' company already. In the meantime I'll have to content myself with watching the 1977 animated version with Orson Bean and John Huston.