Plot: In the future ecological disasters have vastly reduced the human population and maintaining a semblance of civilization has come through "mechas", humanoid robots who emulate human emotions and feelings. Professor Allen Hobby (William Hurt) spearheads a cutting edge new program in artificial intelligence. He creates David (Haley Joel Osmet) an android who is designed to feel love. But when his surrogate father and mother Monica and Henry (Frances O'Connor and Jason Robards) abandon him can he, an android, ever find his place in the world?
Review: A.I. is one of the few films I've ever almost walked out on. Pedantic, preachy, dripping with sentiment, and tragically corny it is single handedly the worst film Steven Spielberg has ever done.
There are so many problems inherent with this film that it is a good thing I don't have time to write a novel on this movie.
It has been said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. That's not the case with A.I. The film was originally intended to be filmed by Stanley Kubrick who had been eyeing the project since the 1970s. However after Kubrick's untimely death, Spielberg took over the project. The result was something on par with Yao Ming trying to do an impression of Don Rickles. It just didn't work.
The story itself derives heavily from The Adventures of Pinocchio and is often referenced, along with the Blue Fairy, throughout the film. Much of the movie involves David trying to find the Blue Fairy because he is convinced she will turn him into a real boy. Not only does this sound ludicrous but the fact that it becomes the main focus of the film grinds the movie to a slow pace. Did I say slow? That's an understatement. If the pace got much slower in A.I. it was going to grow roots.
Spielberg's screenplay is the worst kind of mindless dreck imaginable. Devoid of coherency and emotional resonance, the script also stretches plausibility even for a science fiction film. David's constant companion throughout the movie is a talking teddy bear named Teddy. I want to repeat that just in case you think you might have misread that. A FREAKIN' TALKING TEDDY BEAR! How do you expect me as an audience member to take this movie seriously when one of the main characters in the film is a talking teddy bear? It's ridiculous to the point of absurdity. Furthermore, for some unknowable reason at the end movie Spielberg feels the need to jump 2000 years in the future and include aliens in A.I. Say what?
And the acting? Man I tell you does anyone remember when Haley Joel Osmet was America's darling? Seems like forever ago. His performance as David in A.I. makes his role in Pay It Forward look like Sir Lawrence Oliver in Hamlet. His performance is a gushing fountain of nauseating sentiment. David's quest to become a real boy is as compelling as Antiques Road Show. Annoying would be the best way to describe Osmet's performance here. Thankfully for William Hurt and Frances O'Connor Osmet's atrocious acting overshadows their slightly less horrible attempts at thespianism. About the only decent performance in this film is Jude Law as the mecha Gigilo Joe. (Yes his character's name is really gigilo Joe.)
My former film professor Jack Garner once told me that he's seen three hour films that went by in five minutes and 80 minute films that took two weeks. The latter is apropos of A.I. To misquote recent candidate for New York state governor Jimmy McMillian, THE MOVIE IS TOO DAMN LONG! Incidentally watching this film made me want to regurgitate my "breakfastlunchanddinner" as well.
In short A.I. is an overly long, poorly executed, badly paced, horrendously acted, and ponderous foray into science fiction that should have been left on the cutting room floor. If you are considering watching this film do yourself a favor and go watch Futurama instead.
My rating: 1/10
No comments:
Post a Comment